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For centuries, bar-goers have leaned on the bar counter, seeking not only a well made drink but also some wisdom from the person behind it.
This bartender’s wisdom has been immortalized in movies, books, and passed down word of mouth over the years.
Bartenders, often seen as philosophers of the night, have a front-row seat to the human condition, serving not just drinks but doses of wisdom, humor, and comfort.
In this post, we’ll be sharing a curated collection of some of the most popular bartending and drinking quotes ever said.
We suggest using these quotes while working behind the bar or during any bartending interview. Have fun memorizing these bartender quotes to charm others you work with, make customers laugh, and to show off your movie or literary knowledge.
Timeless Bartending Quotes
“The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.” – Harry Gordon Johnson
“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” – Albert Einstein
“Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.” – James Crumley
“A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it.” – Bruce Tomlinson
“A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.” – Ernest Rutherford
“By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.” – Don Marquis
“I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.” – Al McGuire
Funny Bartending Quotes
“You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name – and you’ve never been to that bar before.” – Zach Galifianakis
“Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold.” – Jerry Vale
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” – Dean Martin
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” – Richard Braunstein
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” – Mark Twain
Bartending Quotes From Movies
“Never trust a bartender with bad grammar.” – Rocco in The Boondock Saints
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” – Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca
“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” – Charles Butterworth in Every Day’s a Holiday
“I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Will Ferrell in Anchorman
Bartending Quotes From Books
“I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway in The Sun Also Rises
“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Beautiful and Damned
“Bartenders, true bartenders, are like the priests of a secular realm. They hear the sins, bless the children, and offer medicinal comfort.” – Benjamin DeHaven in Confessions of a Self-Help Writer
“There’s a bartender. There always is, isn’t there? He’s cleaning a glass, which is something bartenders do a lot in the movies but almost never in real life.” – Neil Gaiman in Anansi Boys
“One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.” – John Milton in Comus
Quotes About Drinking
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin
“Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night—be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.” – Frank Sinatra
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Bottom Line
Sometimes bartending can be boring or hard. Refer back to these quotes when you want to spice up your night and interact with your patrons a little bit more. Like Dean Martin said, “bartending is not a job; it’s a show, and the bartender is the star.”
